Monday, 26 January 2015

An ode to the biscuits on a New House tray

This week, we have a fine poem by special-guest blogger Charlotte Collins of Ask Her Friends.

It’s truly a very British habit
That when a biscuit is offered, you just have to grab it.
There’s simply no better partner in crime
For that pot of brew we crave come teatime.
McVities, Cadbury, Mars or Fox’s,
We just can’t resist those biscuit filled boxes.

New House Textiles has released a new design
That features the bikkies we find most divine,
And cos my biscuit experience is second to none
(sugary snacking’s my version of fun)
I’ve analysed the best of the NHT bunch -
hey, we all need something to read during lunch.

The Party Ring’s one that should really arouse ya
Due to the way it evokes such nostalgia.
The preferred snack at little kids’ parties,
An hors d’oeuvre, if you will, before goody bag Smarties,
Forgoing the ball pond and castle that bounces
To claim your share before another kid pounces.

The Jam ‘n Cream – what a whiley minx,
Brazenly making sure everyone thinks
That its jammy filled centre extends throughout
But then eating commences and you start to doubt
This impression, and somehow you’re always surprised
To find that in fact the jam’s more localised.

There’s another biscuit that’s equally fake,
But this time in reverse – it’s the trusty Tea Cake.
At first you peel back its tin foil shell
And the chocolate’s revealed, and you think all is well
But your life then improves immeasurably
When that marshmallow layer is quickly set free.

Then the one we all hold in the highest esteem,
king of all biscuits, HRH Custard Cream.
Just something about that vanilla flavour
Makes them the treat we all love to savour,
And in reward for all of that taste bud pleasure
We’ve crowned these babies our national treasure.

Now I’d better get on with the work I’ve been saving
And try to shake off my intense biscuit craving,
But if you would like to purchase something
Designed with a Tea Cake or a Party Ring,
Don’t delay it until the day ends,
Just head over now to AskHerFriends!

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